I am just curious about journaling. I have tried a few times and it never really stuck. I like the idea of reflecting in a journal but also concerned about getting attached to past thoughts or ruminating on it. What are your experiences?
I have been journaling since the 80s. More or less constantly.
For me, it always was one of the most helpful tool at my disposal.
A tool that would let me get stuff out of my head, freeing up precious head space and mental resources. The simple act of putting thoughts into words on paper also allowed me to step back from whatever it was I writing about, no matter how difficult or intimate it was, helping me get a somewhat better or a calmer understanding of it. Having it inside those pages also gave me the luxury of not having to constantly have to think about it, which in itself is an invaluable gain — even more so for the most painful/sensible thoughts.
It was great but journaling was still only a tool for me.
I mean, I never had much of a sentimental relationship with my journals. They never were those ‘sweet memories’ and I had zero nostalgia for my past live(s) or for reading old/past entries once my own live was past them.
So, lacking space in our tiny home and not fancying carrying dead weight, I never hesitated to get rid of the older journals as they served no purpose anymore. Getting rid of them was a very efficient way to reclaim shelve space.
I never regretted it. Until recently this year.
Getting old (I’m well into my 50s), early this January I realized I could not recall some stuff that happened many years ago that I remembered writing a lot about back then, and that there was no way I could read what I had written since those journals were long gone.
It was frustrating and, oddly for me, it was also difficult to accept they were gone. Emotionally I mean, I felt deprived of some part of me.
It was so unexpected and disturbing that I decided, from now on, to keep my journals.
If they ever start to take too much space (I’m guilty of writing a lot, like I said I consider putting thoughts into words one of the best tool), I will probably start shredding them again but I will wait as long as possible. I’m curious to see if, given the opportunity and enough time, I will be interested in re-reading them in a few years.
Published: 2024/04/26